I think we missed the best window of opportunity for the surgery last week.  We're hoping it can still happen this month, but if not, here are some options I'll have to consider.

After several weeks of build up, the postponement of the surgery caused a huge wave of negative energy to wash over me, mostly in the form of anger.  It took almost the entire week for me to get over it.

So the surgery is not happening tomorrow.  And Cedars was kind enough to let us know at 3 pm today, just a mere 16 hours before the surgery was supposed to begin.

The IVIG infusion on Friday went surprisingly well, but that's because the side effects didn't start until Friday night.  And then they lasted all weekend long...

Even though I know I'll be fine after the surgery, there was a long period of time when I was certain that a kidney transplant would be the end of me.  And my dreams were reflecting that irrational fear.

I've been warned by several people that one of the potential emotional ramifications of receiving a kidney is feeling guilty afterwards.  I think I finally understand why people feel that way.

With one week to go before the surgery, Cedars explained the entire process to my wife and I, to get us prepped for the day of surgery.  They also managed to answer several questions we had.

For reasons unknown to me, I am constantly late. To everything.  I guess I'm just a tardy person at heart.

Even though the idea of surgery is scary, the hope that my life will return to some semblance of the "normal" I used to know is worth the risks.  These are some of the things I've missed the most since my kidneys failed (and that I hope to get back after the transplant).

I finally found a place to live after the surgery, yay!  I need to be "isolated" for several weeks since my risk of getting sick will be extremely high.  I will definitely miss my wife and kids thought.

Another night of insomnia.  My ramblings in Word turned out to be far more dramatic than I intended, but potty training my son, and the potential repercussions of that, were on my mind.

The transplant surgery is so close now it's starting to really hit home how frightening the prospect of the surgery is.

The drug therapy to accept my wife's kidney started last week with my Rituxan infusion, but today I did the first of four (potentially five) plasma exchanges.  It turned out to not be nearly as bad as I thought it would be.  

"How do you stay so positive?"  That's a frequent question I get.  The answer is simple - it's a choice I make every day, even on the bad days.  And having my wife in my corner helps tremendously.

It's been a few weeks since I posted anything so it's time to catch everyone up.

After almost four months of migraines every time I dialyze, I finally have a morning where I don't have one by the time I leave the chair.  

Several people have asked what I do during dialysis and it got me thinking most people probably have no idea what the whole process of hemodialysis is like.  Here's a little glimpse into what life in the dialysis chair is like.

Just a couple of tweaks to my medications from a cardiologist and my blood pressure has finally come down.  I like this new doctor a lot.

Life is a bottomless pit of why questions.  And every time we ask them, we don't expect to get any answers.  But even without those answers, we still have to have faith that regardless of why something is happening to us, we're going to make it through.  At least that's what I believe.

My blood pressure has been out of control for three months now and it's really starting to affect my daily life.  But at least I have some new options since I started at the new center.