written on September 23, 2014
I finally found an apartment this week. After several weeks of searching, it’s done. Now me, my parents (who will be visiting from Indiana) and my sister (in from North Carolina) will have a place to stay in October and November. I didn’t realize how difficult it would be to find a fully furnished 2-bedroom, 2-bath apartment to rent for 2 or 3 months. Thank goodness for AirBnB!
My recovery is supposed to take 12-weeks, and in the first four to six weeks my immune system will be so compromised that the risk of me getting sick or infected is very high. So being around little kids (germ factories, as a lot of people like to call them) is not a good option. I’m going to miss my kids and my wife, but for the sake of my health, it’s better for me to not be around them. Hence the apartment search, which has been going on since August.
Cedars offered no assistance whatsoever, since no one on the staff has wanted to definitively say that I shouldn’t live at home after the surgery. They’ve told me I can’t live with an animal for the first three months (possibly the first year), but they always stop short of saying I shouldn’t be around my kids.
My nurse coordinator’s comment to me was “don’t let them breathe on you and you should be okay.” Funny. Trying to prevent a 3-year old and an 18-month old from not breathing, coughing or sneezing on you is like trying to prevent the rain from falling from an oversaturated cloud – once the raindrops form, gravity takes over and its all downhill from there. Even telling them to not breathe on or near me won’t work – they’re too young to understand about germs and illness.
Yes, I could wear a face mask around them 24/7, but something tells me that mask would be pulled off very quickly if I went anywhere near them. I also won’t be able to pick them up for at least 6 weeks – no heavy lifting, otherwise I could open the stitches. As hard as it would be to not be near their faces, it will be almost impossible to not pick them up constantly. They both tend to throw tantrums if they want to be picked up and I or my wife don’t do it.
Hopefully living in my own place for those two months will help me heal faster. I know there will be more peace and quiet rather than staying at home. But I’ll be living with my parents too – something I haven’t done since high school. I love mom and dad, but I’m 40 years old, it’s going to take some serious adjusting learning to live with them again.
It will be okay. The goal is to get better quickly, so I’m strong enough to go home and live with my wife and kids again. And my parents will help with that. They’ve always been good at taking care of me.