written on November 2, 2014
I read an article in the LA Times on Friday (Oct 31) that discussed steps people could take to be more happy in their lives (http://www.latimes.com/health/mentalhealth/la-he-happy-20141101-story.html). The number one thing to do is to practice gratitude. Scientists think if you offer thanks on a regular basis in your life you’ll feel better about things, you’ll essentially feel happier.
That made me think of all the comments I’ve had since my renal failure about how I’m staying so positive. There were times over the summer, when the dialysis and the migraines were really pushing me hard, when staying positive was definitely an uphill battle. There were days when I didn’t feel so optimistic, and those days I would avoid almost everyone. Didn’t want to bring anyone else around me down if I was having a bad day.
It turns out that one of the things that kept me positive was all the well wishes from family and friends. So many people offering to help if they could, so many others wishing for a fast and speedy recovery. It made me stop and think about what it means to have people looking out for you in your life. And it made me realize how lucky, or even blessed, I am to have so much love in my life. The greatest love, of course, comes from my wife, who has been steadfast in her resolve to donate a kidney and make me better.
All the thoughts that swirled through my mind over the summer focused on gratitude. Many times I caught myself wondering how I could ever say thank you enough to everyone who has been there for me and my family.
When Oprah Winfrey left the airwaves a few years ago, I remember watching more episodes of her show during her last season than ever before. Several times I heard her mention to the audience that they needed to keep writing in their gratitude journals every day. At the time I thought it was a silly idea – why would anyone need to keep a gratitude journal, to write the thank-you’s to the people who mean, or have meant, something to your life?
Now I understand – I get it. You write it down because sometimes you can’t say it, the words never feel like they’re enough. Or maybe there’s some estrangement or bad feelings so verbal communication, or any kind of communication, is just not an option. But I’ve discovered that even people whom you no longer speak to or communicate with can still affect your life in so many ways. And so many of those ways turn out to be things you should be thankful for.
We live in a society where we spend a lot of time focusing on ourselves; our lives, our children, and some days it is truly difficult to think outside of your own little bubble and appreciate the other people who are in your life. As I’ve mentioned many times before in my blogs, losing my kidneys was something I never want to go through again, nor would I wish it on anyone. But it’s something I discovered that we as human beings take for granted every day – we need our kidneys to survive, and yet we rarely, if ever, stop and thank our kidneys for keeping us alive and well.
Same goes for the people in our lives who help us survive and prosper. It’s so easy to take the things for granted that are ever-present in our lives. But it’s also so easy to say thank you, and mean it, and if you can, reciprocate the kindness.
It’s the gratitude I’ve been feeling for months that has kept me positive, kept each day looking sunny and bright. Knowing I would get a new kidney from my wife one day helped tremendously also – not knowing would have made staying positive so much more difficult.
I don’t know if gratitude would help other people maintain a positive outlook and a happier disposition, but if I’m any kind of example for others, take it from me when I say it has worked wonders for my outlook on life. There are so many things and people to be thankful for every day. And if you feel I haven’t said it to you often enough, please bear with me – what goes around comes around, as they say.
Enjoy your life, enjoy your kidneys, and try to be thankful for the things you have and the things you have yet to achieve. Life is far too short to focus on the negatives in the world around us.